Dishonest woman consistently asks situationship for $400 or more, expects him to pay up without question: 'She's scamming you'

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Oct 2, 2024 3:00 PM EDT

Love, or infatuation, can sometimes shield us from reality. We put on our rose colored glasses and in the words of BoJack Horseman, "All the red flags just look like flags." You don't see people for who they truly are, you want to see the best in them. We think that the reason they're not texting us back is because of that insane Verizon outage, not that he's just not that interested. We believe them when they say they're going to change, for real this time. It happens to the best of us, and we really can't be blamed. Sometimes we need the harsh light of say, a Reddit thread, to show us that we're actually being taken advantage of. 

This thread is a prime example of that. A dude, blinded by affection, fails to see the scam a woman is running on him. Read on for the wild details.

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    via Unsplash+ (Diana Light)
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    AITA for refusing to help my friend when she's broke because she's been asking for too much money?
    via u/Melon_Doll
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    So I've (M39) been seeing this woman (F41) for almost four months. It's semi- casual; I want her to be my girlfriend, but she's not ready to commit. Even so, we spend a lot of time together, and I thoroughly enjoy her company. But she's constantly hitting me up for money.
    via u/Melon_Doll
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    It started when she lost her job as a dental assistant. She asked me for $600 to help tide her over. Then, the next week, she needed another $400, then another $500. She has two kids who live with her and a third in college, so I could understand why she was struggling. Fortunately, she found a new job quickly, one that counted as a
    via u/Melon_Doll
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    promotion for her. But the pattern of asking me for money every week persisted while she waited for her job training to start and then while she waited for her first paycheck. On top of that, she's had me paying for everything on dates, buying her gifts, buying her kids' gifts, paying for her kids' birthday parties, and paying to have food delivered to her kids every time we hang out.
    via u/Melon_Doll
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    When she got her first paycheck, I told her that while I didn't mind paying for dates or buying gifts occasionally, I couldn't keep giving her money. She accepted the rejection politely, and I thought we'd be good. But when her next paycheck comes in, she tells me she's giving it to her sister so her sister can buy a house. Two days later, she's telling me she needs money because her account is overdrawn.
    via u/Melon_Doll
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    This time, I declined to help her. I understand she has kids to worry about, but her constant requests make me feel like she's taking advantage of me, and I told her as much. However, she says this is normal and that she expects a man to provide for her.
    via u/Melon_Doll
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    Personally, I can't justify spending this much on someone who's not willing to be my girlfriend, but she insists that all her relationships with men have been like this, whether they're friends, boyfriends, or husbands. Admittedly, I have very little dating experience, so
    via u/Melon_Doll
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    it's hard for me to say what's typical, but I feel like it's a bit much to expect me to provide for her entire family when we aren't in a committed relationship. From her perspective, though, she's hurt that I see her as exploitative and thinks I'm being cheap. AITA for not continuing to help her out here?
    via u/Melon_Doll
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    _s1m0... 7h ago Edited 5h ago. NTA. Dude, you're not a boyfriend, you're a John. I hope you're at least for taking on the privilege of supporting this woman and her entire extended family, but I'm afraid we'll learn that you're not.
    via u/Melon_Doll
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    Existence Raisin • 7h ago • NTA. She's scamming you
    via u/Melon_Doll
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    Financial_Form_1312 3h ago ⚫ • Yeah dude she's taking advantage of OP's lack of dating experience. This is not normal. She either wants to be with you, or she likes having you as her safety net. Obviously OP is her safety net for the time being. Some other schmuck will be next in line.
    via u/Melon_Doll
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    WorthYogurtcloset263 6h ago • • NTA I'm sorry to have to tell you this but she's using you for your money. I wouldn't be surprised if your not the only one she's stringing along. She gave her whole paycheck to her sister and then expects you to fund her and her kids? Get out now
    via u/Melon_Doll
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    BettyThomas18 • 7h ago . NTA. She's not looking for a real relationship but rather a financial arrangement. If she constantly asks for money and gives away what she can't afford, that's a red flag. She's not committed to you, she's taking advantage of the situation.
    via u/Melon_Doll
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    No-Reception-911 6h ago . . NTA, cut your losses and block her number. She's using you as a sugar daddy. She's not a friend, she's a leach.
    via u/Melon_Doll
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    Accomplished_Two16... • 6h ago • Even if she was your gf, her expectation of support is out of line in my opinion. If you don't want to be her walking atm, proceed carefully. NTA.
    via u/Melon_Doll
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    Square-Minimum-6042 • 6h ago • LOL that's why she has had a succession of partners, she treats you all as ATMs. NTA. She gave her sister her paycheck to buy a house? Then she has no money.
    via u/Melon_Doll
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    theoldman-1313 4h ago . • You're 39 and asking if this is normal? Were you raised by monks? She is scamming you. Resign as her ATM.
    via u/Melon_Doll
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    NotNobody_Somebody •4h ago • why would you want this freeloader to be your girlfriend? She openly admitted she expects you to pick up the tab for her life. She is using you for your bank account. How are you okay with this? YWBTA to yourself if you do not walk away and stay away.
    via u/Melon_Doll

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